Side Effects of Department of English

(The speech I delivered in Welcome function 2014)

After completing first year in department of English I feel some changes in us, especially me and my friends. Definitely they are positive and progressive but I want to put it different way, my own way. And the title I choose for it is…

Side effects of Department

After coming into this department, we gain more knowledge and started understanding our surrounded world and present time with new eyes. But for the eyes of world, this vision is not acceptable. So, this becomes side effects of this department for the outer world. The side effects, which we have, are really very interesting …

English Fever:

Obviously, as we are studding in English, we have to speak in English. But the side-effect is we start speaking English everywhere, even outside also, which world cannot understand!! And we have an assumption that others understand us, as here I am having this assumption.  As we are not powerful and fluent in English, we cannot speak English truly and fluently. But still we are struggling with our broken English!!! Like adding‘s’ behind every word and mixing Gujarati words in English.

Internet Addict:

When we came here, we don’t know anything about Internet and technology. But now we are suffering from addiction of Internet. The person like me, is always sharing and blogging everything, even a stupid things, on Face Book or Google Plus (as I am sharing this!!) which others never read!?! If we have nothing to share, we share our stupid photos and ‘selfies’. If we have no work to do we see our own profile many times. So, this way we become ‘Narcissist’ now. 

We became habituated with this thing that if there is any problem with network connectivity or with computer, we cannot tolerate, we become furious and behave totally as an addict. In short, now we cannot live without these things.

Side Effect of ‘Theories’:

Throughout the year, we learn many theories. But the problem is after knowing these theories, we started finding these theories in our surrounded world and applying them in our lives. If we are watching T.V. and some famous scene comes, our mind will say, ‘Archetypes of literature’, if an actor is not performing well, out ‘theoretical’ mind will say, ‘because he cannot depersonalize’. So, because of this critical mindset, we become fish out of pond who cannot enjoy watching Movies or these entertainment things. 

I have an experience which can convince these side effects more clearly. In our Welcome function, I shared my experience as a new comer, as I was having English fever, I spoke it in English.  (That time also I had an assumption that, others were understanding me!!!) At the end of the programme, Sir, appreciated me, of course, I was feeling very happy and proud on that moment. But at the next moment, one of my class mates asked me “What you read, do you recite any poem or what?”!!!!!!!!!!!

It is my first tragedy of this Department. Even it is not enough; I was comparing my tragedy with other like Dr. Faustus, that because of my excessive pride, my ego is punished. God didn’t give a moment of happiness.

Now, the up-coming two side effects are very serious and bring Tsunami and anxiety in our life!?!!  These are…

Doubting Disease:

Knowledge raises questions instead of giving answers. So, because of studying here, we started doubting everything. The things which we easily believed and follow, we started raising questions about them. And the figure of God is also not exception.

And because of not following tradition, rules or beliefs, which we followed with closed eyes caused riots at our home and we become rebellious because of this madness of doubting and questioning even silly things.

We feel exactly what G. B. Shaw says about modernist literature ‘question, examine, test!’ Look, here also I am comparing my situation with previous knowledge which I get here. How badly these effects caught me!

Disease of Deconstruction:

Perhaps, it is the most dangerous side   effect. After studying theory of Deconstruction, our mind is always busy in this activity of deconstruction. Ever minute, every situation, every person becomes victim of our deconstruction.  Our respectable elders, family members and teachers are also not free from this. Because of this activity, we become Nihilistic, Atheist now.

So, please pray for us that, we can free ourselves from this as early as possible.

I know, these all side effects, which I described, suggest success of our learning. But what about the world out of the Department, Do they feel that we are normal?!!? Now you think, don’t they feel that, we are mad or suffering from illness!!!!!??????

If we don’t use our knowledge than what is the use of knowledge; and if we use it than we cannot be happy, but anxious. So, what to do after getting knowledge??